I never thought I would live my biggest fear, but it happened to me this year. I never thought I would lose a friend, but I did.
It wasn’t by death or anything of the sort, but we don’t talk anymore, and for some reason I’m grieving.
She grew tired of me. She cut me off completely, and it was hard for me to deal with it. Since I lost her, I lost other mutual friends too. Luckily, my real friends have been there for me.
I met them online. One lives in Pakistan, and the other one lives in Texas.
I don’t know why certain things happen. My future is going to be very different now. I thought I would spend all my adult years with my “best friend.” Now it’s going to be more quiet.
It wasn’t until she stopped talking to me that I realized how terrible she was as a person and as a “friend.” The many bad times outnumber the good ones.
I thought I was crazy, paranoid, and overbearing, but some friends at school, my internet friends, and YouTube videos on social psychology gave me peace. It was never me.
I’m overcoming this fear, slowly. I’m still processing it.
It’s the Taurus in me that can’t get over things quickly. This is will probably still be talked about in my journal for the next five years.
There have been many late nights of contemplating and realizing. My friend in Texas has been incredibly great listening to me, and my friend in Pakistan has been graciously sympathizing.
I’ve never met them in person, and I’ve only known both for less than two years. If someone would’ve told me three years ago that I would lose all my childhood friends and find comfort in people that don’t live in this state, I would have never believed it.
I want to say I’m a stronger person, but I’m still working towards it. I can now say I’m wiser and know better not to cross a Leo.
I’m walking on a new path, they’ll be less people, and I’m okay with it.
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